Life sucks.
Everybody knows that and so it is hard to maintain any sense of optimism unless you're Emily Porter. (No disrespect Emily, that's a compliment.)
Those optimistic people could have suffered the worst; lost their job, their home may have burnt down, they could have been anally raped several times in the showers at the gym, they could come home to find their girlfriend in bed with Susan Boyle, and their pet Gerbil may have suddenly spontaneously combusted thus leading to their house fire, and yet the smile on that persons face will not waver.
I envy you positive people.
I find it hard to positive about anything, I've experienced too much in such a short time that tells me all hope is lost. Liverpool will never win the league, I will never get a full time job/girlfriend/ flat, and they will never make the sequel to Planet of the Apes with Mark Wahlberg that they promised like 10 fucking years ago.
Alcohol, however, has led me to the lighter side of life, the hopeful side on many occasions. It is my point of refuge on those nights where you really have lost all hope. Many times it has made things a lot worse, but it felt good at the time so you learn to move on and live.
See, I find it hard to keep friends. I'm such a rude, bitchy person that people just grow sick of my despicableness and disappear, and I don't blame them. Alcohol makes me friendly.
I find it hard to maintain relationships, girls either get sick of looking at my ugly face, or they realise just how boring a person I am. Alcohol makes me fun.
I lack motivation and so I get bored of things quickly, taking weeks off at the gym because I find it too much effort. Alcohol makes me exercise.
I'm finding it difficult to find a job, my fussiness and desperation to earn a certain amount and doing certain jobs means I am falling behind and not earning enough. Alcohol makes me less fussy.
I am 18 years old. Free, single and earning a decent amount. I should be happy, but the way I am, the way my personality runs means I end up as grumpy, as moody as a 70 year old menopausal woman. Alcohol makes me feel alive and it gives me a perfectly good reason to act like the 18 year old I am.
It's probably not the best thing to rely on, but right now it works.
I'll probably find life harder than most and so this is why I'm a future alcoholic.
Follow me on Twitter: @itsjoshpennock
